I started watching the DVD of Alan Parker's 1984 film Birdy tonight. As the opening credits rolled I remembered - or perhaps had a false memory of - the last time I watched this film. I think it was with my dad, a couple of months before he died.
It makes the process of watching this film, which is already laden with memory and nostalgia, an even more poignant experience.
In 1984 I became friends with Mark Morrison, who a year or two later introduced me to this film, which stars Matthew Modine and Nicholas Cage (before he became just Nic), and which features an evocative and stirring soundtrack by Peter Gabriel.
Sitting down to watch Birdy tonight is such a strange experience, with so many layers and moments of memory attached to it...
Watching it with my dad, in our old home in Trafalgar, in country Victoria in 1985 or '86; realising then and remembering now how laden this film is with homoeroticism, and how awkward that made me feel at the time and realising now how naive I must have been then....
And also realising now how much I miss my dad, and that sensation of old grief (so old the sharp edges have been slowly ground away) is mingled with the sensation of squirming in front of my dad the last time I watched this movie...
Simultaneously it makes me recall being introduced to this film by Mark, although I can't remember the first time I saw it, which makes me fondly remember the heydays of our friendship. It makes me ponder, too, how many years have elapsed since I first saw Birdy, and how much I, and my life have changed since then, and how much I've experienced, and how much more I've already forgotten....
So many memories, so much contemplation upon loss and love and life and time - and all this from a simple film.
If you haven't seen Birdy, here's the IMDB url for the film:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086969/
You might hate it, but I think it's worth checking out...
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